Here we are at the fourth annual Southern Discomfort 24 Hours of LeMons, held at Carolina Motorsports Park in Kershaw, South Carolina, and our neurons have been fried like hairs facing a blowtorch. Why? Mainly due to the 1957 Cessna 310 converted to road-race configuration, but that’s far from the only completely amazing, only-in-LeMons race vehicle that showed up for today’s inspections.
How does the idea of a Geo Metro with Ford Duratec V-6 in the back sound to you? It seemed like a fine idea to Team Georassic Park!
Many LeMons teams address your correspondent, who also doubles as Chief Justice of the LeMons Supreme Court, thusly: “Judge Phil,” they ask, “How can I get my car through the BS Inspection and avoid penalty laps for my cheaty car?” This is the question that led to a BMW 3-series team turning their E30 into a rolling monument to Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha—and the very same question culminated in this homage to Thomas Pynchon’s great 1966 novel.
They’ve got a muted post horn on the car’s roof, a team member dressed up as a credible Oedipa Maas, and a W.A.S.T.E. mailbox. Well done!
The NSF Racing ’87 Plymouth Reliant wagon that was such a hit at the 2012 season-ender has returned, this time with all-Rosie-the-Riveter driver roster.
After a bunch of teams with John Galt/Ayn Rand themes scrawled in Sharpie on their snoreworthy race cars, John Galt Racing finally went ahead and installed a glammed-up Ayn Rand graphic on their car’s hood.
We had hippies, and another team called the “On Site Hippie-Abatement Team.”
We see precious few 1960s Detroit cars in our series, so it’s always a treat when something like this ’64 Ford Fairlane shows up to race. 289 engine, C4 transmission, sagging rear leaf springs, what more could you ask for?
Well, what we always ask for when we see a half-century-old Detroit car is another half-century-old Detroit car to be its on-track rival. This time, we got our wish: this 1964 Dodge Dart, complete with slant-six engine and pushbutton automatic shifter. The slant-six has the better reliability record in LeMons than the Ford Windsor V-8, but the Fairlane has more horsepower. Which one will take the Class of 1964 LeMons Cup this weekend?
When was the last time anyone saw a Chevy Monza with genuine factory V-8 power? Here’s one in our race!
The truly creative teams will never run out of good themes. Here’s the D.B. Cooper Saloon!
We’d been waiting years for a properly executed LeMons Bōsōzoku car, and we expected such a car to appear in California. Nope, it took a bunch of crazy Southerners to convert this Sentra SE-R into a Bōsōzoku masterpiece that would earn real respect on the streets of Tokyo.
So many great details on this car, from the high chopper-style exhaust pipes (fully functional, of course) to the lemon-etched wing supports. Sadly, a completely absurd front splitter jutting out ten feet was nixed by the safety inspectors.
The star of the show, of course, was the latest cerebellum-scorching creation of LeMons Legend Speedycop and his Gang of Outlaws: a 1957 Cessna 300 fuselage grafted to the chassis of a Toyota Space Van. Since we’ve already seen airplane-engined LeMons car, the Gang of Outlaws asked themselves, “Why not build a car-powered airplane?”
Thus was the Spirit of LeMons born. It runs, it drives, it stops, it has a roll cage, and it will be racing wheel-to-wheel with 90 other cars this weekend.
The Cessna was purchased sans engines and wings and hadn’t flown since the early 1970s. Speedycop and the Gang of Outlaws hooked up as many gauges as possible, and nearly all of them light up.
We’re not sure how Speedycop is going to top this, but we’re sure he’ll find a way. Check in Saturday night to see how the first day of racing at the ’13 Southern Discomfort turns out!
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